tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3733547565614327236.post3833162773412271828..comments2023-10-16T06:40:43.382-07:00Comments on CHOP-TENSILS: On Being "Other"Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3733547565614327236.post-15174031933709798902008-12-19T08:31:00.000-08:002008-12-19T08:31:00.000-08:00I have come to cringe at the word "normal" almost ...I have come to cringe at the word "normal" almost as much as I do at "exotic" - they are the flip sides of the coin of presumptive ignorance. <BR/><BR/>Like previous commentator Kate, I'm a white woman living in ML China, have lived my entire adult life here. Growing up in America, I started out via my family in a wacky extremist religious subculture, apart from a few years at public school where only my fellow outcasts the recent immigrant kids were nice to me. Once escaping I landed into a smart, quirky group that was heavily Taiwanese-American. <BR/><BR/>Ironically, I "fit in" better in China than I ever did in the US. Mainstream Caucasian-American culture has always bewildered and slightly alarmed me. Growing up and when I visit now, I am expected to know/associate with all this stuff that to me is totally "exotic" and bizarre, but others presume is my "normal" because I'm white. It's not.<BR/><BR/>In China I'm pretty assimilated, and while I look funny and always start out harassed as otherized - and hate it - once my mouth opens that disperses. I am a lot more culturally fluent in China than I ever was in the US. However, I thus get told I'm "Chinese" by my community in China - and the meaning that I've racially/culturally upgraded is not quite the compliment that they intend.<BR/><BR/>Perhaps the worst, as Anonymous cited, are the white "expat" types in Asia - who cluster defensively together so they don't have to deal with being a minority. Their cultural parameters are the narrowest imaginable, and their condescending otherizing of Chinese people pisses me off. To them, someone like me - who has shrugged off what they so cling to, and embraced what they so fear - is some sort of seven-eyed, tentacled alien.<BR/><BR/>My point? is that not only non-whites find all/mostly white films and crowds alienating. I always cast about for a comforting Asian face, my "normal" that I can relate to, and who I presume will be more able to relate to me, instead of deeming me an "exotic" "freak".Lisa Moviushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04859122084816637056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3733547565614327236.post-5192763955381886022008-12-19T08:22:00.000-08:002008-12-19T08:22:00.000-08:00This comment has been removed by the author.Lisa Moviushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04859122084816637056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3733547565614327236.post-50470310010485498572008-10-11T19:21:00.000-07:002008-10-11T19:21:00.000-07:00This is a paradox that I really need to get to the...This is a paradox that I really need to get to the source of: I'm hyper-sensitive to noticing that I'm the only black face just about everywhere I go. It's a standing complaint with me that I'm always the lone black spot on the page.<BR/><BR/>Here in San Francisco, that page looks mostly asian and white.<BR/><BR/>But I've always CHOSEN to be in these places so what gives? And having dreadlocks really doesn't help to blend in, but I chose those too. This is tough for me to get my head around, but I think there's something underneath it all that has to do with how I view myself.<BR/><BR/>Is it possible to give up this notion of "otherness" without the rest of the world having to change in some way?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3733547565614327236.post-90637788027459516792008-10-02T07:11:00.000-07:002008-10-02T07:11:00.000-07:00Anonymous - All I can say is "thank you." You hav...Anonymous - <BR/>All I can say is "thank you." You have no idea how important it is for the white parent to show some awareness of the kid's different experience due to race - and to ask questions and do the research. Your kid is lucky to have you.CVThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04097386572053924474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3733547565614327236.post-40718981436911080972008-10-02T01:09:00.000-07:002008-10-02T01:09:00.000-07:00Also white (Euro-American) living in HK. So, I...Also white (Euro-American) living in HK. So, I'm used to being "other" (of course w/ tons of white privilege, legacy of colonialism). If you look Euro, you get praised for the same bad Cantonese that someone who's ethnic Chinese raised Anglophone in S'pore gets scolded for. <BR/><BR/>One time I was in a group of other women (almost all from the USA & Canada) and, I raised the issue (as an anti-racist): "Hey, isn't it kind of weird that we're all white here." - it was more than 30 women and some got angry for me even *raising* the issue. How they hated talk about race, how race didn't matter, it's all about individuals, the usual shtick. Frustrating.<BR/><BR/>My kids are Eurasian (hapa?) - their schools are mostly HK-Chinese, people of Euro extraction (either directly from Europe of via NZ, Oz, or the No. Am w/ some So. Asian Kids and a few Asian Other (Japan, Korea, etc.). <BR/><BR/>A few years ago, my daughter (then 10) said something along the lines of "I wish there were more mixed kids in my class". And I said "what about X, Y, and Z". She answered, "Yes, but there's only about 4 of us." [out of ~ 28 kids). So, even what looks like a good environment to me as a parent - she felt she wanted more of her own.<BR/><BR/>Her swimming teacher is hapa - a guy about my age (in fact, his son was in her class). One time I asked her if she liked that he was mixed too, like her. She said yes - that she liked him for other stuff as well (kind, patient, funny, etc.).<BR/><BR/>Raising my kids here, I wonder if/when they live in the USA, what their whole take on the race thing will be - and how their identities as Americans will develop (since they're mostly being raised outside the USA).<BR/><BR/>So, I read sites like this to gain insight and to develop my thoughts.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3733547565614327236.post-55348141179954947632008-09-24T20:32:00.000-07:002008-09-24T20:32:00.000-07:00You've phrased this so well. It's something I alwa...You've phrased this so well. It's something I always find hard to put into words, and I usually end up snapping something curt and unhelpful like "Well, isn't it nice that YOU had the luxury of not noticing the racial makeup of the room?"<BR/><BR/>It happens all the time. And as someone who passes as white for most of the year, I get to stack feelings of invisibility on top of feelings of abnormality and unconscious ostracism.hexyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12189529529520498603noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3733547565614327236.post-33494209659848657442008-09-24T12:25:00.000-07:002008-09-24T12:25:00.000-07:00CVT, thanks for posting.Your movie story totally r...CVT, thanks for posting.<BR/><BR/>Your movie story totally reminds me of the time I went to see Dave Chappelle's Block Party. We picked a theater based on the most convenient showing time and ended up in a "historic" theater too, in a "gentrified"(read: mostly white) neighborhood. When we walked into the theater, at first, I thought we were in the wrong one, because every last person in there was white. Except me. I actually got up to check the marquis because I was so confused. And let me tell you, it was weird. At least for me. Everyone was so quiet during the movie. Talk about block party poopers.<BR/><BR/>As a hapa, there are very few places I don't feel like an other. Depending on the people, I pass or don't pass according to what they see in/on/about me; or what they want to see about me. And yeah, sometimes I feel sad and lonely. But I agree with cvt, I'm glad at least my experience of otherness gives me an *awareness* of other-status that people who fit the norm don't often have.dkhhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03104867073301923936noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3733547565614327236.post-8820350506180713492008-09-24T08:24:00.000-07:002008-09-24T08:24:00.000-07:00Science Girl - I definitely hear you on being in m...Science Girl - I definitely hear you on being in mostly-white areas by choice . . . I constantly ask myself, "What the Hell am I doing in PORTLAND!?" But then - I feel like maybe I can change some of the mentality by being an active representative of the color that keeps leaving (or was never here to begin with).<BR/><BR/>Kate - You're white. And you still are part of this whole racial dance, so don't worry about saying your piece. Just wanting to be part of this conversation (and being willing to read about it, and think about it, etc.) puts you a step ahead of the rest.<BR/><BR/>And Greg - I am constantly thankful for my "other" status because of the awareness it brings me. <BR/><BR/>Lxy - nothing more for me to add.CVThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04097386572053924474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3733547565614327236.post-29144180149293661542008-09-24T01:39:00.000-07:002008-09-24T01:39:00.000-07:00Your experiences could be summarized as The Unbear...Your experiences could be summarized as The Unbearable Whiteness of Being.<BR/><BR/>White cultural norms, worldview, and "moral values" (such as they are) are normalized in the West and indeed the world. <BR/><BR/>After all, White people are the universal exemplars of the human race--and they have a disgusting sense of racial entitlement no matter where they spread on this planet.<BR/><BR/>Global white supremacy. <BR/><BR/>It's coming to a theater near you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3733547565614327236.post-63292018142850073762008-09-23T22:53:00.000-07:002008-09-23T22:53:00.000-07:00I totally hear ya. And it's *constant*. Yeah, it's...I totally hear ya. And it's *constant*. Yeah, it's in the jokes that people know are offensive, and it's in the comments that people don't even think for a moment might be insensitive. But it's also in what's not there -- where is my representation?<BR/><BR/>It's so sad that, for most people, if they're not forced outside their box, they'll never leave. For people who are "other," looking at things from an "other" perspective *is* normal. I sometimes wonder if I'd be as sensitive to things if I weren't "other." Or would I just live life as if there were no real problems, no injustice, nothing out of the ordinary?Greghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13748622697744911930noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3733547565614327236.post-16003268053498821832008-09-23T21:54:00.000-07:002008-09-23T21:54:00.000-07:00I started this comment a couple times because I wa...I started this comment a couple times because I want to contribute, but... I'm white. And ok, so I have a small amount of perspective on this through being a woman (I know someone who doesn't go to see a movie unless there are two female characters in it, who talk to each other, about something other than a man. She hasn't seen a movie in three years), and because of what it was like in China.<BR/><BR/>Yes, I know. Voluntarily, and I knew that there was somewhere (several somewheres) where I could fly to that I would be the norm in. But it was a visceral experience and, while it can't and doesn't make me understand what it is like to be non-white in a default-white place (which is supposed to be YOUR place), it opened my eyes in a very real way, and I'm grateful for it. It gave me a (very) small insight into how much energy it takes to build that bubble around yourself, to shrug off all those things.<BR/><BR/>In the end, what I have to offer is this. Someone pointed out to me last week that they can't buy skin coloured bandaids. Because they are black. And bandaids are... well... skin coloured. MY skin colour.<BR/><BR/>I think I've thought about that every hour for the last week. It blew my mind. And what else haven't I thought about, because I don't have to. Because I am 'normal'.Kaviarehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08409825601485451978noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3733547565614327236.post-7258934411526386152008-09-22T21:10:00.000-07:002008-09-22T21:10:00.000-07:00Really, really nicely said. I can totally relate ...Really, really nicely said. I can totally relate to this. In fact, I was sitting in my local Starbucks tonight, in my very white neighborhood, thinking about some of these very things. The longer I live in this neighborhood, the greater my discomfort grows. But to move to a more diverse neighborhood requires a lot of inconvenience on my no-car, bus-riding, busy-student self. I requires moving further way from the city center (b/c the people of color always live on the outskirts of cities), and further away from friends.<BR/><BR/>It's funny. I've always lived in very white areas. But I think it bothers me more now because as a self-sufficient adult, my environment is now a direct result of my choices. It's just unfortunate how difficult those choices can sometimes be. Like my choice to pursue higher education: that right there is a choice to remain a minority among my peers. And the more education I pursue, the fewer the people who look like me.nonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11285430099883802519noreply@blogger.com